Key to failure!

I don't know the key to success but I know the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Back to it...

So after taking 8 months off of blogging, I was inspired by a friend to revisit this form of journalistic outlet. I would some day like to print these in a book for someone, someday to read or use for firewood.

Our lives revolve our kids. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I would never trade places with any friends or acquaintances. I have never envied those that don't have to balance a checkbook or figure out a way to remove the negative from the balance. I do not wish for a sports car, a tag hauer watch, a plasma tv in every room or anything material like that. I have played the what if we won the lottery game with the wife now and again, but that would require buying a ticket. I do often wish that when my kids needed $400 for travel baseball or summer basketball that I could simply write out a check or hit the atm and not have to think about hitting up the convenience store clerk.

Family is truly a fantastic blessing. I do not know what I would do without a high school basketball game cheerleading competition, city rec ball or music program to attend. Maybe I would get more reading done... nah. Maybe a few more games of Halo so that the one time a month I play with my 10 year old he doesn't out score me 20 to 1. I know pride is not good, but how can a parent not find pride in their children that are obedient, hard working and polite most of the time.

God put us here for a reason. To have joy. My children are my joy. The women that brought them into this world is my joy. The rest of eternity will be hard work, but one full of joy.

Made Ride

We are embarking on a new adventure. Cami has a cousin who is an avid bike rider. He has participated in an annual bike ride from Reno, NV to The Huntsman Cancer Institute in Salt Lake City, UT. After last year's ride I made the suggested that a ride from Rexburg, ID to the Huntsman Center would be a much more picturesque ride. It also would allow our family to help celebrate Aubri's cancer free status and help raise cancer awareness, particularly for cancers that are more obscure and have less research funding. You can visit the ride website at www.maderide.com

NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND – THE FOOTBALL VERSION

NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND – THE FOOTBALL VERSION

1. All teams must make the playoffs and all MUST win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable. If after two years they have not won the championship their footballs and equipment will be taken away until they do win the championship.
2. All players will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time even if they do not have the same conditions or opportunities to practice on their own. NO exceptions will be made for lack of interest in football, a desire or lack of desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities of themselves or their parents. All players will play football at a proficient level.
3. Talented players will be asked to workout on their own, without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instruction time with the athletes who aren’t interested in football, have limited athletic ability or whose parents don’t like football.
4. Games will be played year round but statistics will only be kept for the 4th, 8th and 11th games. It will create a New Age of Sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimum goals. If no team gets ahead, then no team gets left behind. If fans do not like this new law, they are encouraged to vote for vouchers and support private teams that can screen out the non-athletes and prevent their players from having to play with bad football players.

Kicking Cancer's Butt

Please visit http://www.ikickedcancersbutt.org/ and follow Aubri's cousin ride a bike from Reno, NV to Salt Lake City, UT for cancer research. Mike Nelson and his son Taylor are part of a group of great guys who ride to raise money for the Huntsman Cancer Institute. More than the money however, is the fact that they would sacrifice themselves on behalf of others. Thanks guys!

A Father's Reflections

I found this column and found that it matched my own feelings and experiences perfectly...

I suppose that the general Dad experience is one of anger and helplessness. Dads are supposed to be the protectors of their families. Burglars, thieves, cutthroats, and murderers lurk outside the gate, and will be dealt with summarily if they chance to invade our kingdoms. There is a powerful fantasy of defending the castle against all comers, even laying down our lives to keep our children safe.

A diagnosis of a grave illness is sneaky, however. A spy, an assassin that has entered our lives through the sewer grate. Suddenly we realize that the princess is held captive in her own room, with a knife at her throat, and we are standing helplessly, stupidly, in the courtyard with useless weapons in our hands.

At the moment of our daughter's diagnosis, my wife and I set out on different journeys to rescue our child. More like two different takes on the same mission, two complementary approaches. For Mom, it was about comfort. Make our baby comfortable, make our family comfortable, share feelings and insights with visitors, things she was willing to do 24 hours a day at the expense of her own health. For me, it was about facts. What, exactly, is the diagnosis? What are the odds of complete recovery? What will be the results of the surgery? Where will we stay? What about the insurance people? Who will feed the dog?

Interestingly, the doctors told me not to read books. Current therapy and practice are advancing so rapidly, that a book is far out of date the day it’s published. So I went to the medical library at the hospital and read current periodicals and extracts. Good news. I asked tough questions at the doctor's conferences. Good numbers. I wrote regular newsletters so that we wouldn't have to tell the same stories over and over. Good work.

Meanwhile, my wife sat by our daughter's bedside and watched her sleep. She sat out in the hallway and talked to visitors, nurses, doctors, strangers, patients, janitors, technicians, maintenance men, pizza delivery guys until she was exhausted, and I knew we had to have a plan.

1. Analyze your strengths. Nancy was the caregiver, I was the utility player. She stayed at the hospital during the week, supervised our daughter's daily fight, and I stayed home and played Mom.

2. Allow your friends to help. When someone asks you what you need, tell them. Our friends did our laundry, mowed our lawn, cleaned our house, cared for our other children (took them Trick or Treating, swimming, to games, to sleepovers)

3. Try to keep the good and ignore the bad. While Mom was gone to the hospital all week, the other kids slept with me, had dinner with me, watched TV with me, and generally treated me with care. It was our job to be as normal and happy as possible.

4. Try to get some rest. Once we had established our plan, it had to produce good results for the patient. I told my wife that she was allowed to cry when she was not in the patient's presence, but she needed to be healthy and cheerful whenever she went in the room. Personal care is necessary for the patient's benefit. Take time off to sleep, shower, eat, and return with a good attitude. I came for the weekends; that was my time to relieve my wife, and take my turn on watch.

5. Accept the reality of your new life. One of the strangest results of our new routine was an incredible sense of peace for me. On the scale of values, weeds and bills sank to an all time low, and time at the hospital rose right to the top. At my most helpless, I found the strongest sense of God's presence. In my weakness, my only weapon was my time, my patience, and my support. As a man, it was humbling, as a father, it was transforming.

I don't mean to take away from the pain and difficulty of this experience; it was both painful and difficult. But I do believe that while this illness can destroy a family, it also has the potential to build one too. I think the bottom line rests with Dad. Dad's job as the warrior is to lay down his wants and desires, to fight with himself, and make the noblest sacrifice of his time so that his family might survive. In the end, it may be the best thing that you have ever done.

Joe, father of a childhood cancer survivor

Sarcoma Awareness Foundation

We are in the process of creating a Sarcoma awareness Foundation to help Aubri help others. She feels so greatly blessed by all the kindness, generousity, and prayers on her behalf that she wants to share with those in her same situation. We plan on having a yearly dance/dinner each summer, as well as other events to help raise money for the Huntsman Cancer Institute (specifically for Sarcoma research) and for others that have needs to help with their individual treatment. If any of you have ideas or would like to help, please let us know at erickwills@yahoo.com



Here is her foundation logo.